The popular and catchy saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not entirely true. Words sting. Sometimes the words we say carry power that we will never understand. There are words that some people may find offensive, while to others, the same word is completely harmless. When it comes to language, it’s important that we have an open-mind and consider how we make others feel when we choose the language that we speak.
There are lots of words that can be used to hurt members of the LGBTQ+ community. For example, the word “gay”. You may be thinking, wait a minute- doesn’t “gay” just mean a man who is only attracted to another person of the same gender? Yes, that is typically how the word is used! However, sometimes people will use the word “gay” when they’re trying to say that something is “dumb” or frustrating. People will even call other people gay to try and be offensive. They will call someone “gay” if they don’t like that person, if they think they’re weak, or if they think that something they’re doing doesn’t match gender norm roles. Using the word “gay” in this context is not okay. There are many people who are members of the LGBTQ+ community and consider themselves “gay”. These people are not dumb, they are not weak, they are not annoying. They are people who deserve respect, support, and friendship.
We can all do better by watching what we say. It may not be offensive to you, your family, or your friend group. But, the more you say a word or a phrase, the more of a habit it will become. If it’s a habit, you’ll most likely continue to say certain words or phrases in public or around new people you meet throughout life. Each person you encounter will have very different backgrounds, life experiences, and opinions. To be respectful of all people and communities, the best thing to do is to use language that would be considered polite and courteous to any person or group of people.
LGBTQ+ Scenario #5
With a partner or in small groups, read the following scenario and discuss the follow-up questions.
Liz is in middle school and is the youngest of 4 kids. Liz grew up with older siblings who would often use the word “gay” when they were frustrated at a situation or were trying to express that they thought something was “stupid”. In Liz’s class, another student recently came out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Though she’s not best friends with this student, Liz has been more conscious of the things she says and the jokes she decides to listen to and laugh at. One of Liz’s favorite things to do at school is to play basketball with her classmates outside during lunch break. Today, an announcement came over the speakers saying that the whole lunch break would be held indoors today since there was some heavy rainfall outside. Liz exclaimed, “Ugh! That’s so g…….” but then stopped herself from finishing the word.
>Liz has a really good goal of avoiding using offensive words or language. She grew up where saying things like “that’s so gay” was alright. Now that the words she says have become a habit hard to break out of, what advice would you give to Liz to help her in her goal of not using the word “gay” in that context?
>What are some other words that she could use instead? How can you apply this situation into your own life?
Download Learn More About: Recognizing Harmful Language (English) here.